What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

You found a love potion, and your friend tried to use it on an attractive popular girl, but he accidentally dropped it on the neighbors dog. Now the dog won't stop following him. How would you help him?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What role did China play in the signing of the "Beijing Declaration" between Fatah and Hamas? What other information is worth noting for talks among Palestinian factions in Beijing?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What does it mean when your husband comments and likes other women on social media? He has private IG and TikTok accounts that I have no access to. He has saved videos and pictures of women on his phone.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why are people so rude to debt collector’s? I am one and I am so tired of being mistreated. We are under paid and then have to deal with the most ungrateful, and disrespectful people. We aren’t customer service. Don’t get mad at us because YOU owe.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

How do I stop someone from forcing/pestering me to become gay/bisexual when I already want to be straight?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

How do empaths destroy narcissists?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why would Trump make conspiracy claims that Haitians are eating pets in Ohio?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

How can one select funeral songs that truly celebrate the essence of a loved one’s life while providing comfort to attendees?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why did my ex replace me so fast?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

I’m 26 years old and a married woman. My husband hates my flat chest. What is the permanent solution?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why do women stubbornly refuse to let men lead, even though they are attracted to the man, and the man both loves and desires them? Why do they get angry and blame the man when he gets fed up and walks away, when it's entirely their own fault?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.